My Doorbell Broke My Heart on Easter

Yesterday my heart was broken — by my doorbell. As with many other places throughout the world, we are currently under a shelter in place order amid the COVID-19 outbreak. In trying to do our part to flatten the curve, we have decided to keep any non-essential contact limited to those who live within our home, only me, my spouse, and our two daughters. Defining this small circle has been the most challenging part since my girls have very close relationships with both sets of grandparents, typically seeing them multiple times a week.

I have grappled with whether or not this is the right thing to do since we made the decision four weeks ago. In the spirit of following the guidance and keeping everyone safe, it is, but real life is not as simple. We landed on this decision out of an abundance of caution, but it has been a hard decision to stick with.

Our folks are relatively healthy and on the lower end of the age risk scale, yet when we carefully weighed the benefits vs. risks, we decided that we would never be able to forgive ourselves should something happen to one of them because of us. They understood and agreed, but were saddened by the impact it would have on being able to see the girls. Even though it seems cut and dry, limit exposure, mitigate risk, the dubiety around our decision has been haunting me.

Am I robbing my kids, and by extension, their grandparents of precious time that can’t be earned back?

I can’t help but worry, am I robbing my kids, and by extension, their grandparents of precious time that can’t be earned back? I was fortunate enough to have had a relationship with each of my grandparents, but whether they passed when I was fourteen or thirty-one, that time still never felt like it was long enough. For my kids, parents, and in-laws, this is time that we can’t get back.

We have done okay over the last few weeks, FaceTime and Zoom trying to fill the void that a lack of in-person contact has left, but Easter changed all that. Easter marked the first holiday spent separated from one another. Leading up to Easter, we discussed our options. Should we try to do an outdoor socially distant Easter? Should we break our streak? Ultimately we decided that our commitment to safety…